As my family and I were having a discussion and listening to the radio, someone said something to the effect of “they make these rims and sell them to the community”. Somehow this was to explain all of the death a destruction that has resulted from these material things, these things that are not even needs. This explanation also suggested that someone had a malicious purpose for selling this product to this community. So the businessman is at fault for the killings. Not the individuals killing each other.

My friends business is business. If I make a product and a certain segment of the population buy it more than other populations, I am going to promote my product more to the population that will bring me profit. I don’t care if the population is Black or White. I want to make money. How on earth can you blame the businessman for kids killing each other? This is crazy.

People!!!!! We need to wake up and take responsibility for our communities and our children. I have heard civil right leaders and people over the air ways say over and over that they want change. The barrier to change is the system, they say. Ok I will give you some points on that, but how about the minor details of day-to-day living that we all have control over? Let me list some:

1 You have control over whether you wake up on time to get to work. It is in your control. You don’t have to wake up late and get a speeding ticket. If you do wake up late and get a speeding ticket that means you have to come in contact with law enforcement and once that happens suck it up, pay for your ticket and wake up early the next morning.

2 You have control over your children. They should be on a schedule. They should not be in street making themselves easy targets for the police who are “simply out to get the Black kids in jail”. Your children should go to school, come home, do their home work and have conversations with you. They have no business being in the streets coveting other people’s property to the point of committing murder.

3 You are in charge of your education. Go get financial aid like the rest of us poor people. Go to school and improve your employability. Then apply for the appropriate job. The job that matches your skills.
See the thing is all of us just want to talk about the bad situations. We want to rant and rave and get angry. In the end when we do not effect constructive change, we are our own jailers and our own prosecutor. We are our own worst enemy.
Do the hardest thing in the world and take a look in the mirror. Until you can get you act together this nation will just be spinning its wheels and equality will just be an illusion.

Stay tuned for my 1200 claorie diet. it is actually easier than I though it would be.

http://ohthesweetpromise.webs.com/

[Verse 1:]
Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Take a gun, and count to three
I’m sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go

[Chorus:]
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

[Verse 2:]
Say a prayer to yourself
He says, close you eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
That he’s here means he’s never lost

[Chorus:]
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger

[Bridge:]
As my life flashes before my eyes
I’m wondering will I ever see another sunrise?
So many won’t get the chance to say goodbye
But it’s too late to think of the value of my life

[Chorus:]
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must pass this test x2
So just pull the trigger

If we will recall, there where several people among the Partiers who where yielding racist signs and clearly had a HATE AGENDA. The Tea Partiers came out and said that they did not endorse these people and they where not pushing hate. They noted that they where simply trying to express their dissatisfaction with Health Care Reform.

I hope that this time Tea Partiers will openly condemn those who try to push  HATE AND RACISM. If they don’t, then they are openly endorsing these negative messages and should live with the consequences.

Any committee that comes up with a solution needs to understand that until they can help the parents and families in these communities, they are simply putting a band-aid on the wound.  The solution to the problem has to include a program for getting parents help and support.

There are already several programs out there that support parents. They include Big Brother programs and other after school programs. Those programs are there to help support the parents and provide positive mentorship for children. They where not created to shoulder the load of the family and fulfill all of  the needs of children. Those programs were created to supplement and reenforce the values and beliefs that families have  already instilled in their children.

Thus, if after school programs are being used to shoulder the burden of families and instill moral values in children, the program will eventually fail and only a few children will be successful.  The successful children will more than likely be the children who already have structure and boundaries at home. There are exceptions, where some children who have never had structure in they household become successful because of mentorship programs but they are the exception not the rule.

Parents need support in todays fast world. However, when you see communities that have violences, especially with teens, then there has been a breakdown in family and parental structure. The parents in that community need help.

Committees and experts can help parents and families through meeting them where they are. They can help parents understand what it means to be a parent through parenting classes. They can also teach parents how to show their children love and how to set appropriate boundaries for them. To do this experts need to evaluate the demographics in the community and create the appropriate programs.

Stay tunes for more….

Nothing change in Chicago and other violent areas if parents don’t start being parents. When parents decide to forget living above their means. What happened to the days when parents went to work, worked their regular hours (not over time every week or weekend) and came home.

People are going to get mad when I say this but the Women’s movement is partly to blame for this ( I am not saying in any way that the movement   should not have happened). The movement needs to COME BACK and redefine the roles of men and women in the family setting. Women went out in the work place, but the culture still has not adjusted to that change. Thus children come home to empty houses and they have no one to love on them and make sure they are doing the right thing.

My solution:

Each family needs to evaluate their current situation. If the woman is making more money than the man, he needs to suck it up and take primary responsibility for the kids. That means being there when they come home, making sure their homework is done and communicating with them, their teachers and their friends. If the man is making more money. Ladies priorities and take primary responsibility for the children. Someone needs to make sure the children are a priority, otherwise they will grow up with no regard for people and no understanding of empathy.

The movement needs to be revived to advocate responsible parenting and responsible wealth accumulation. We need to hit the talk shows, social networks, news casts, and advertisements on tv. We need to use every form of media to reach dying families.

The movement also has to come back and let women know it is ok to want to stay home. We need to let women know that they do not have to feel guilty because they want to stay home with their children and they want to make the sacrifices necessary to raise good, kind and humble kids.

Through out history the Church has been the foundation of the Black community. There are church on every corner in some communities. The Church has been a place of fellowship, union and the symbol of empowerment.

However, there is too much pain and too much dysfunction going on in some Black communities even though there are Churches located on the corner. It is time for Pastors and laymen to step up it up.  They need to provide counseling and classes to help this generation heal so that they do not continue the generational cycles of violence, abuse and poverty.

Preaching from the Pulpit is fine, but Pastors and laymen need to get into the communities and walk the streets and help counsel lost and dying souls. They need to meet people where they are instead of just singing and preaching and creating a false sense of security that only lasts until the sermon is over. If the people of the Church do not incooperate the Bible into their family life then the Church is not doing what it is supposed to.

Every Church in a Black neighbourhood needs to have AA, parenting classes, Addition counseling, self-esteem workshops etc. That is part of the ministry, showing people Gods love and mercy in a world filled with hardship and disappointment.

As you read this you maybe wondering, well what is she doing to help (start with the man in the mirror). I am in between schools (starting back in the Spring, you need a certificate to do anything legally), I have this blog and I am trying to get ideas for a fundraisers so I can start my ministry. I also volunteer at a pregnancy center.

So what are you doing to help?

Definations (bottom line)

The bottom line in an arguement is… You are wrong, my opinon is the only one that counts and I am not willing to hear you, see your point of view, or acknowledge that you are a person who has valid life experiences. In the end we will do what I say and you will jump when I say.

The bottom line of a disscussion is… You are a person with valid knowledge and experiences and so am I. I am willing to listen to you and respect what you say. I expect you to show me the same curtisy and together we can come to a solution that is best for our lives.

Your significant other is not your enemy. The both of you are fighting the same war and on the same said. Todays world is not condusive to monogomous marriage bound or married relationships. It is up to each couple to decide if they will loose the race and get a divorce, win the race of a life time.

Will you win the race? Or will you choose to give up? Leave a comment and let me know. I will be more than willing to chat (IM) with you. Leave me a message and I will give you more info. Challenge my brain.