Your spouse is not your enemy

It is so funny how sometimes I see or hear couples (married or dating) talk to each other like the other person is their enemy sent straigt from hell. I mean these people argue, fight or are passive aggressive towards their spouse.

Definations (bottom line)

The bottom line in an arguement is… You are wrong, my opinon is the only one that counts and I am not willing to hear you, see your point of view, or acknowledge that you are a person who has valid life experiences. In the end we will do what I say and you will jump when I say.

The bottom line of a disscussion is… You are a person with valid knowledge and experiences and so am I. I am willing to listen to you and respect what you say. I expect you to show me the same curtisy and together we can come to a solution that is best for our lives.

Your significant other is not your enemy. The both of you are fighting the same war and on the same said. Todays world is not condusive to monogomous marriage bound or married relationships. It is up to each couple to decide if they will loose the race and get a divorce, win the race of a life time.

Will you win the race? Or will you choose to give up? Leave a comment and let me know. I will be more than willing to chat (IM) with you. Leave me a message and I will give you more info. Challenge my brain.



Should Biblical Counselors have session fees or ask for donations? Why or why not? If your answer is no, how do Biblical Counselors meet their basic needs for food, shelter etc?

Your Actions should debunk Stereotypes

There are so many stereotypes (both negative and positive) out there and they are all founded in the reality of a few. The whole problem with stereotypes is that they are generalized. They are often applied to whole segment of the population, or an ethnic group or even a certain career.

It is your job as a member of a group to try and debunk the negative stereotypes that are used to identify you. For example the stereotype of the Black male is lazy, uneducated, drug user, always in trouble with the law. Well if you are a Black male don’t do any of those things. Stay out of trouble with the law, get your education (either in the form of full college or a vocation) and don’t do drugs. Just imagine what would happen in the country if fewer Black men went to prison. I magin what would happen if they mentored or made their voices heard instead. It would be a revolution.

For the Black woman, the stereotype has been promiscuous, baby mama, angry,  etc. If you are a Black woman work to prove these stereotypes wrong. Don’t be a baby mama, marry a man and then become a mother. That would take care of the promiscuous perception as well.

Although I have only focused on these ethnic groups you get the point. Debunk the stereotype. The next time you are doing something think about this. How would the outcome of my actions be portrayed on the late night news? Begin with a sentence like this:

Today on the Head Line News _____________ was seen/heard doing ________________

The Law is teachnically right

MARYVILLE, Tenn. – Hotaru Ferschke just wants to raise her 8-month-old son in his grandparents’ Tennessee home, surrounded by photos and memories of the father he’ll never meet: a Marine who died in combat a month after marrying her from thousands of miles away.

Sgt. Michael Ferschke was killed in Iraq in 2008, leaving his widow and infant son, both Japanese citizens, in immigration limbo: A 1950s legal standard meant to curb marriage fraud means U.S. authorities do not recognize the marriage, even though the military does.

Ferschke and his bride had been together in Japan for more than a year, and she was pregnant when he deployed. They married by signing their names on separate continents and did not have a chance to meet again in person after the wedding, which a 57-year-old immigration law requires for the union to be considered consummated.

“She is being denied because they are saying her marriage is not valid because it was not consummated — despite the fact that they have a child together,” said Brent Renison, an immigration lawyer in Oregon who has advised the family.-Taken from

The law is technically right the couple did not meet again after their marriage to consummate it. Of course I believe that this case is an exception to the rule, because there where extenuating circumstances that where out of both individuals control. 

The fact that the couple had a baby was in their control and could have been avoided with a little waiting. the coupe should have waited to get married and then have sex. They should have gotten married before he deployed instead of jumping the gun and actually trying to have a baby from they where actually committed to each other in marriage.

This is a lesson for all of us. Wait to get marriage and them have sex and then children. There is old nursery rhyme that goes like this

____________ and _____________ sitting in a tree

K-i-s-s-i-n-g First comes love

Then comes marriage

then comes

_______________ and ______________

With a baby carriage.

Self Control

Last night the President give his Health Care Reform speech to Congress. During that speech Sen. Wilson shouted out “Lair”. Now the Senator has apologized to the President and the President has accepted his apology. After the comment was made, the President showed amazing restraint as he continued on with his speech and barely acknowledged the outburst.

As  a Christian we can use last night as a teachable moment for all. The first thing we learn as children is self-control. We learn self-control so that we may be able to interact with other people in social setting and so that we can learn to self-sooth.

If you look at babies, they do not learn to self-sooth until they are loved and taught to do so by their parents. We all have our opinion as to why the Senator made his outburst. However, it is unanimous that his comment was rude and unneccessary. Why? because there is a time and a place for everything. Apparently the Senator could not control the emotions that have been boiling under the surface and lost control of his tongue.

Never let anyone or anything cause you to loose control of your senses to the point where you can not control your emotions and most of all your tongue.   

Proverbs 21:23 (New International Version)

  23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue
       keeps himself from calamity.

Guarding your tongue will allow you to stay out of trouble, share love, spread the word of God and start beautiful relationships.

The Presidential Speech

The speech was taken from and not alterned:

Prepared Remarks of President Barack Obama
Back to School Event

Arlington, Virginia
September 8, 2009

The President: Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today. 
I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.
I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning.   
Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’d complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, “This is no picnic for me either, buster.”
So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year. 
Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education. And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility.
I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn. 
I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox. 
I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve. 
But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. 
And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself. 
Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide. 
Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.
And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.
And this isn’t just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you’re learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future. 
You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy. 
We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country. 
Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.
I get it. I know what that’s like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn’t fit in. 
So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I’m not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse. 
But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn’t have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.
Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right. 
But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no excuse for not trying. 
Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future. 
That’s what young people like you are doing every day, all across America. 
Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn’t speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.
I’m thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who’s fought brain cancer since he was three. He’s endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer – hundreds of extra hours – to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he’s headed to college this fall. 
And then there’s Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she’s on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college.
Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren’t any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same. 
That’s why today, I’m calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education – and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you’ll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you’ll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you’ll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you’ll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don’t feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.
Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it. 
I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work — that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you’re not going to be any of those things. 
But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.
That’s OK.  Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, “I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” 
These people succeeded because they understand that you can’t let your failures define you – you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying. 
No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in. 
Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust – a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor – and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals. 
And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you – don’t ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.
The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough. It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best. 
It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.
So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?  
Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you’ve got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.
Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

Same-sex marriages begin in Vermont

Billy Slimback and Bob Sullivan, have been together for 17 years. The two have shared everything in life. The one thing they wanted more than anything was the chance to get married. Well they did, in Vermont. The law has been passed and the couple got married. they are now on their honeymoon.

I personally do not care in anyway about same sex marriage. I will say that my point of view was very different not too long ago. However, who am I to say that two people fully aware of all of the pros and cons of their relationship shouldn’t be recognized by law? I am no one. God is the ultimate judge, so I leave that responsibility to him.

I think that the Christan’s making a lot of noise about same sex marriage should just calm down. For us Christan’s marriage is a union before God and our vows are sacred and said in front of him. The Christian Church needs to reemphasize that the marriage license is a document required by law and important, so that two people can enjoy the privileges that come with having that license. God says obey the laws of your country. Render to Cesar what is his.

Marriage in a Church in front of God is a sacred covenant, two people make infornt of their friends, families and God most high. Same sex marriage should not in anyway bear consequence on heterosexual marriage.   

Share your thoughts. What do you think about same sex marriage?