Revive The Movement

After listening to the news and hearing about all of the children who have lost their lives in Chicago, I have to rewrite this blog and my position.

Nothing change in Chicago and other violent areas if parents don’t start being parents. When parents decide to forget living above their means. What happened to the days when parents went to work, worked their regular hours (not over time every week or weekend) and came home.

People are going to get mad when I say this but the Women’s movement is partly to blame for this ( I am not saying in any way that the movement   should not have happened). The movement needs to COME BACK and redefine the roles of men and women in the family setting. Women went out in the work place, but the culture still has not adjusted to that change. Thus children come home to empty houses and they have no one to love on them and make sure they are doing the right thing.

My solution:

Each family needs to evaluate their current situation. If the woman is making more money than the man, he needs to suck it up and take primary responsibility for the kids. That means being there when they come home, making sure their homework is done and communicating with them, their teachers and their friends. If the man is making more money. Ladies priorities and take primary responsibility for the children. Someone needs to make sure the children are a priority, otherwise they will grow up with no regard for people and no understanding of empathy.

The movement needs to be revived to advocate responsible parenting and responsible wealth accumulation. We need to hit the talk shows, social networks, news casts, and advertisements on tv. We need to use every form of media to reach dying families.

The movement also has to come back and let women know it is ok to want to stay home. We need to let women know that they do not have to feel guilty because they want to stay home with their children and they want to make the sacrifices necessary to raise good, kind and humble kids.


A Challenge to churches in the Black Community

Hey there, today Tyler Perry released and e-mail that just broke my heart. It brought to mind the plight of so many children in this nation. I want to say before I start that I am in no way saying thees same problems do not exist in other communities, but I am currently focusing on the Black community.

Through out history the Church has been the foundation of the Black community. There are church on every corner in some communities. The Church has been a place of fellowship, union and the symbol of empowerment.

However, there is too much pain and too much dysfunction going on in some Black communities even though there are Churches located on the corner. It is time for Pastors and laymen to step up it up.  They need to provide counseling and classes to help this generation heal so that they do not continue the generational cycles of violence, abuse and poverty.

Preaching from the Pulpit is fine, but Pastors and laymen need to get into the communities and walk the streets and help counsel lost and dying souls. They need to meet people where they are instead of just singing and preaching and creating a false sense of security that only lasts until the sermon is over. If the people of the Church do not incooperate the Bible into their family life then the Church is not doing what it is supposed to.

Every Church in a Black neighbourhood needs to have AA, parenting classes, Addition counseling, self-esteem workshops etc. That is part of the ministry, showing people Gods love and mercy in a world filled with hardship and disappointment.

As you read this you maybe wondering, well what is she doing to help (start with the man in the mirror). I am in between schools (starting back in the Spring, you need a certificate to do anything legally), I have this blog and I am trying to get ideas for a fundraisers so I can start my ministry. I also volunteer at a pregnancy center.

So what are you doing to help?

Your spouse is not your enemy

It is so funny how sometimes I see or hear couples (married or dating) talk to each other like the other person is their enemy sent straigt from hell. I mean these people argue, fight or are passive aggressive towards their spouse.

Definations (bottom line)

The bottom line in an arguement is… You are wrong, my opinon is the only one that counts and I am not willing to hear you, see your point of view, or acknowledge that you are a person who has valid life experiences. In the end we will do what I say and you will jump when I say.

The bottom line of a disscussion is… You are a person with valid knowledge and experiences and so am I. I am willing to listen to you and respect what you say. I expect you to show me the same curtisy and together we can come to a solution that is best for our lives.

Your significant other is not your enemy. The both of you are fighting the same war and on the same said. Todays world is not condusive to monogomous marriage bound or married relationships. It is up to each couple to decide if they will loose the race and get a divorce, win the race of a life time.

Will you win the race? Or will you choose to give up? Leave a comment and let me know. I will be more than willing to chat (IM) with you. Leave me a message and I will give you more info. Challenge my brain.


Should Biblical Counselors have session fees or ask for donations? Why or why not? If your answer is no, how do Biblical Counselors meet their basic needs for food, shelter etc?

Your Actions should debunk Stereotypes

There are so many stereotypes (both negative and positive) out there and they are all founded in the reality of a few. The whole problem with stereotypes is that they are generalized. They are often applied to whole segment of the population, or an ethnic group or even a certain career.

It is your job as a member of a group to try and debunk the negative stereotypes that are used to identify you. For example the stereotype of the Black male is lazy, uneducated, drug user, always in trouble with the law. Well if you are a Black male don’t do any of those things. Stay out of trouble with the law, get your education (either in the form of full college or a vocation) and don’t do drugs. Just imagine what would happen in the country if fewer Black men went to prison. I magin what would happen if they mentored or made their voices heard instead. It would be a revolution.

For the Black woman, the stereotype has been promiscuous, baby mama, angry,  etc. If you are a Black woman work to prove these stereotypes wrong. Don’t be a baby mama, marry a man and then become a mother. That would take care of the promiscuous perception as well.

Although I have only focused on these ethnic groups you get the point. Debunk the stereotype. The next time you are doing something think about this. How would the outcome of my actions be portrayed on the late night news? Begin with a sentence like this:

Today on the Head Line News _____________ was seen/heard doing ________________

The Law is teachnically right

MARYVILLE, Tenn. – Hotaru Ferschke just wants to raise her 8-month-old son in his grandparents’ Tennessee home, surrounded by photos and memories of the father he’ll never meet: a Marine who died in combat a month after marrying her from thousands of miles away.

Sgt. Michael Ferschke was killed in Iraq in 2008, leaving his widow and infant son, both Japanese citizens, in immigration limbo: A 1950s legal standard meant to curb marriage fraud means U.S. authorities do not recognize the marriage, even though the military does.

Ferschke and his bride had been together in Japan for more than a year, and she was pregnant when he deployed. They married by signing their names on separate continents and did not have a chance to meet again in person after the wedding, which a 57-year-old immigration law requires for the union to be considered consummated.

“She is being denied because they are saying her marriage is not valid because it was not consummated — despite the fact that they have a child together,” said Brent Renison, an immigration lawyer in Oregon who has advised the family.-Taken from

The law is technically right the couple did not meet again after their marriage to consummate it. Of course I believe that this case is an exception to the rule, because there where extenuating circumstances that where out of both individuals control. 

The fact that the couple had a baby was in their control and could have been avoided with a little waiting. the coupe should have waited to get married and then have sex. They should have gotten married before he deployed instead of jumping the gun and actually trying to have a baby from they where actually committed to each other in marriage.

This is a lesson for all of us. Wait to get marriage and them have sex and then children. There is old nursery rhyme that goes like this

____________ and _____________ sitting in a tree

K-i-s-s-i-n-g First comes love

Then comes marriage

then comes

_______________ and ______________

With a baby carriage.

Self Control

Last night the President give his Health Care Reform speech to Congress. During that speech Sen. Wilson shouted out “Lair”. Now the Senator has apologized to the President and the President has accepted his apology. After the comment was made, the President showed amazing restraint as he continued on with his speech and barely acknowledged the outburst.

As  a Christian we can use last night as a teachable moment for all. The first thing we learn as children is self-control. We learn self-control so that we may be able to interact with other people in social setting and so that we can learn to self-sooth.

If you look at babies, they do not learn to self-sooth until they are loved and taught to do so by their parents. We all have our opinion as to why the Senator made his outburst. However, it is unanimous that his comment was rude and unneccessary. Why? because there is a time and a place for everything. Apparently the Senator could not control the emotions that have been boiling under the surface and lost control of his tongue.

Never let anyone or anything cause you to loose control of your senses to the point where you can not control your emotions and most of all your tongue.   

Proverbs 21:23 (New International Version)

  23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue
       keeps himself from calamity.

Guarding your tongue will allow you to stay out of trouble, share love, spread the word of God and start beautiful relationships.